“Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotion know what it means to want to escape from these” -Emily Dickinson
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Killing Trust
These moments come up
Saying leave you alone
The moments we have
Say i need to stay home
Is the answer not loud
not clear
He's not here
mentally
I granted the opportunity
He ran with curiosity
The cat still not dead
Running Rampant
Still trying to get the spread?
This bitch still present
Still apparent
or in his mind relevant
Me
PI
private eye
Not getting paid to search for my anger
Didnt want to be this person in the first place
But you took me there
And I took it there
Living room chair
Im not looking to be mad
Im seeking the moment where he wont disappoint again
Cause he decided to make a new "Friend"
Over and over
Again
Im thinking im not it for you
Cause when you made that decision
No thought came to mind that I meant shit to you and it hurt
Like bricks being thrown at a metal door
Which turned out to only be aluminum foil
What is this all for?
And could we be friends in the end?
You seem to do those quite well
So maybe thats the spell
Still blind cause you know no honesty
Keeping shit from me
Even now
Even still
shooting to kill
Maybe even deny the truth to yourself
selfish and self-less
That's not protection
That's avoidance
Denial
Trying to make justification in your words
better known as excuses
No labels
but abuses
"Its not cheating if were single"
Damn sure ready to mingle
But returns to the beside
Trying to hold on to what?
Something we built?
My Love?
My trust?
Love is still there
but trust is hanging mid-air
May never come down again for me to hold
But how can i blame you for me not being a "better Lover"?
More under the sheets
While your under the cover?
Tell me the truth or something
Cause the whole its not you its me bit is kind of getting old
Garbage dumping
We communicate all the time
but maybe at that moment we didn't communicate well
Asked you what was wrong but the silence fell
And as honest as i am I cannot tell these words to your face
cause maybe your world would break
Im not that cruel
But maybe time will tell if the cruel needs to be the kind
Cause for some reason I believe we are running out of time
and I want mine to be wasted on the happy, the beautiful, the meaningful
Not the regretful, relentful resentful
Damn
The answers are punching me in my face teaching me lessons still.
And when they shoot
they always shoot to kill.
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