Fingers to my Temple

Small thing sparks a BIG THING

I stomp and I rave and I rant

Is God Laughing at me?

Trapped in Time

You could have stabbed me

Blackened my eyes

My bruises would heal

But I have memories

And I have forgiven

But the fact that I haven't forgotten still destroys me

An empty space

Where was the pad lock over my heart?

Where the hell was the protection?

I paid in tears and in cash

Still it Haunts my thoughts because the pain lives in my heart

Why am I remembering what weakens me?

Long gone

Not in my presence

Yet the thought carries on

Wanting to demolish the memory

I let you get the best of me

When can I get the best of me back?

Never?

The worst pain is the one that sticks with you

The strongest adhesive

Did it make me Stronger?

Good question

You are my ruin

Half Hearted

I wish I could take back everything ever given to you

All the way down to these words

This is not regret

This is a cry for relief

This hole leaving me partially soul-less

Its 4:14 am

Right around that time I told you the stupidity that rolled off my tongue

But you never stopped me

Never said yes

But never no either

I smile

I joke

But I wish I never met you

And I mean it

The only thing you have ever given me wasn't friendship

You gave me

In a nicely wrapped box

A red bow

and a curse

I'M STILL TRAPPED IN TIME

In God's Eyes ( This is for Christy)

With both palms raised to the ceiling

She weighs her options

One is feeling heavier than the other and she can't bare the strain

It blisters pain

The other

Light as air and cool as a summer breeze

So with her other hand she brushes off the heaviness from the first hand

She sighs with relief

A Smile and a dimple of curiosity forms on her face

She views sunshine

and maybe even rainy days being her happiest ones

Drawn to him like a painter awaiting a blank canvas

Good conversation, leading to great presence

Leading to........ beyond what they could only share

Now shaken of the outcome but of the butterflies in her stomach type of affect

She reaches for his hand but she still pulls back

Is it that she's scared of the unexpected?

Though she has encountered him for double one's

Yet still on the intrigue

He has a mystery she wants to solve

Though this is not a silly game they play

This is her life

Her heart

This is his life

His heart

Is this Their life?

A joining of hearts?

Good things take time

Great things are there with you from the start

Yet not quite a visual on its potential

But with double one's she began to see him in a new light

She breathes change

She lives for her happiness

And with this cool breeze she has yet not to smile

Always winding up in the same place

Always seeing the same familiar face

Is God trying to tell us something?

Forget the what ifs

How about the what is going to happen right now

But still time for discovery

So slow on the urgency

Yield to the time

But press on through the expression?

If she drives

He flies

Will they truly end up in the same place?

In God's Eyes?

Concrete Corners

This is a colaboration with myself & my homegirl...The first part is mine's the last is hers....

Yes it’s the modern day depression

And I can’t even take a breath without knowing if I will be charged for the air I breathe

Roll up those sleeves

Hope for a better tomorrow

Though today is for the struggle

Anything to get that dough

Selfish Mentalities

Not having that urgency for rationalities

Yet ears to the amplified need for change

That hopeful brand pressed to our hearts

But let’s stop to be realI’m broke

No money

No joke

Can’t even buy my ego

Or those Hi tops I crave

To satisfy my fashion

Materialism engulfing us in giveaway prices

But who can even afford that

Without having thoughts of bag, borrow, or steal engraved in their minds

It will take time

But for how long

Patience is the last thing we want to have

Gimmie the loot, gimmie the loot

And the royalties to boot

Give me a bank full of moneyI’m desperate

I might shootBut no jail in my future

No bail in my future

But a continuation of this might be hell for our future

The prophecies of 2012 in our future?

$"The prophecies of 2012 in our future?"$

I can’t even see that far in my future

I’m living for today, hoping for promise of my future.

People killing themselves & their kinfolk-straight destroying their future

The nerve of being materialistic

Has evolved into narcissism-Narcissistic

Realism-to be realistic

Going to work not knowing if you’ll be laid off

Yea-sure college paid off

Nigga if they fire me they getting sprayed off

I’m gonna go postal on they ass-just to get this weight off

My shoulders

Draped in the same shit since 06’

How the hell can crack heads get their fix?

Whatever their hustle is, I need to pick it up quick

Find a scheme to get rich-hit a lick

I don’t give a fuck-anything to feed my kids

My babies starving worse than Marvin

Theorizing this like Darwin

But this ain’t no philosophy-it’s reality
My life, our world plagued by this hypocrisy
But if we stop & see

Out of this curse may be opportunity

A chance to break down barriers

And seek equality

Everybody is in the same boot

Hopeless, hopeful & broke

Doing what the can to stay afloat

Preparing for the worse & hoping for the best

Learning to live a fruitful life-for less

So through the stress & governments mess

Humble yourself & exude praise for what you have and have not’s

Before you hit the block & grab the glock

Shoot our youth with knowledge

So this madness will stop! The corner…"

PURPOSE pART 1

The world is beginning to be my closet

Or my tight clothed space

Air does not circulate as it should

Foolishness pollutes

I am claustrophobic

And I choke on the mess piled on my mind plate

Daily

So forget the cravings for breakfast, lunch and dinner

I always set my place to not even eat

And Who the hell set it up for down and out to be a daily routine?

Is happiness a superhero trying to fight the injustice of being sad?

Or even content?

Chuckle

Chuckle and my head tilt to the side to think of that statement

Is the world not upside down or is it the plague of history repeating a relentful trend?

Too deep to rectify?

Well let the Complicated Simply break it down

I have the family the friends the independence

But in a cruel world I still feel alone

My head buried in my hands

I scream inside

"WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PURPOSE?"

Do I go through my day working to live or living to work?

Not even an eventful or exciting day but fulfilled with bore

Now don't get me wrong I don't want to jump out of planes or scale building for a living but where does my purpose begin?

Conflict Diamonds

Three of us
Stuck in a place where we don’t want to be
Trying to make a way
And see brighter days
Carrying brighter hearts and minds
But shut down by a grey world
With the ground and rumble beneath our knees
Hands pressed together
The main Google search is “Purpose”
As tears flow from both eyes
Fluids filled with our curses

She

Taking battered moments

I

Rummage through sleepless nights
And Her

Dealing with unnecessary guilt from blind judgment

Trying to see the good in the bad
While the Angel on My shoulder is trying to persuade T’s against the Devil on Jah’s
Damn
When did life begin to be of a difficult nature?
No longer can we find our answers in the dictionary or encyclopedia
Only higher power has the truth set in stone
And we are the diamonds in the rough
Or in the deep seep of concrete we use to tread upon
Lies and obscurities are feed upon
Where does it all end?
Or should I say begin for the three?
Bright stars with big hearts
Only leading to a blues melody
“Not one more good deed”
But “Let me get one more drink”
Our issues need to come together with our problems and drown
Knowing they won’t die that way
The fist down on Her
My subconscious playing with Me
And She’s having words cut through her like the sharpest knives
Three very different similarities
He bruises bones
He Breaks hearts
And He has the slightest bit of care in his heart
I know we are diamonds in the rough
But who will free us of our rough exteriors ?
Polish our smiles?
And let us hang, drip, or sit upon their royalties?
Who will see our true beauty ?
Or are we forever
Conflict Diamonds?

SuperHero

Free will
Generosity
and love were the superpowers I donned
Put to use without question
Always putting others before myself
I am selfless girl living in a selfish world
So only time will tell when I too will sleep,eat , and breath the heaviness of selfishness
No longer being the superhero I was born to be
I am selfless girl living in a selfish world
Caring for others even when they are wrong
The weakness that emerges
As crimes of the heart steadily splurge
I am selfless girl living in a selfish world
My enemies being closer than I have perceived
Blood in fact
But I'm coming to grips with what I need to do and what feels right
Sometimes sitting in silence to use my power of observation
I see things clearly
Yet its become the darkest thing I have ever witnessed
I'm selfless girl living in a selfish world
Not in my power to use selfishness against the selfish
Oh no
But reality has been set
I'm selfless girl living in a selfish world
Trying to save others before myself
But Now I have been defeated
The selfishness has overpowered me
My loving heart destroyed
I'm average girl girl living in a selfish world
I can no longer be what you want me to be
The only one I'm saving is me
I'm average girl living in a selfish world
I am simple girl
I am invisible girl
I don't even exist

Inspected by #13

Every time I look at you

I try to figure you out

A joke and a laugh does it for me but not quiteI seek to know more

I remember when my eyes first laid on yours

They napped on questions that still remain there

And ever since I've had you on my mind

Thoughts of you run through my mind like sneakers to pavement

Stepping up to your door with an open mind

Open Heart

Whose key?

Mind blending on who is he

I'm being accepting to my new movement

With anticipation I try and breathe

Seeing if a connection will link in the distance

Your voice shooting nerves up and down my spine

Within the little time I am attentive to your expression

A bit scared to the fact that you appear to be that one that you dream about

Fantasize

I'm just wanting to know you

Get familiarized

So many signsI've been blind before

Yet it's the present not the past that I 'm shooting for

It's what I want for me

That's what I am rooting for

Trying to be patient

While temptation pulls for more

Trying to pull you towards me

Yet my words to a halt

I stop You need to start

But fuck it

I'm gone

No room for bad Quality